Dear Sinead, how will I look bald?

Well, it has begun. We were warned it could happen...and it is. My hair is falling out. In big clumps! When I wash my hair in the morning, I'm pretty sure I have more strands stuck between my fingers than actually remain on my head!
It doesn't seem to be noticeable to the look - at least not yet. However, I notice it when I blow dry my hair! I burned my scalp this morning, and my hair dries much quicker than it used to (which, actually, is kind of a perk!).
Tracy said that some people actually say that, when the hair loss phase ends, their hair grew in better than it was before, so that is my hope. I was already thinned on top because of my unhealthy vegetarian days. With any luck, when this side effect reverses, my shiny pate will forget it was thinned and fill right back in again. When I was younger I had GREAT thick hair. It was one of my best features. Now it's just thin and annoying.

In other news, I'm going to give a new protein supplement a try...I was told it's made with rice protein, not whey. It's from a website called BariatricEating.com. The other women in my support group rave about it...it's iced coffee! We shall see.
I'm also considering picking up a few packets of rice protein shakes at my local health food store...I'm just really nervous about spending more money on supplements. I've spent SO much money on the over the last 3 months. Not spent...wasted, or at least that's how it feels. However, even though I'm loosing, I feel as though I'm eating too much. I don't eat more than I'm supposed to, but I often eat more than I want or am comfortable with in order to ensure I get enough protein in.
Even the yogurt shakes are starting to get old (speaking of, don't try pureeing Asian pear apples to put in yogurt smoothies. It doesn't work too well. I had to chew my shake yesterday...)

Sorry for my absense

Sorry it's been so long since I've journalled. We just moved, and I didn't have access to the Internet - or the time for the Internet! We just finally got everything unpacked. The only thing left to do is hang the pictures and put the dining room table together. Maybe I'll work on those tomorrow...

Now the important stuff...my bariatric surgery journey...
Well, I went to the doc on Friday. I am officially down 54.5 pounds since I first saw them April 22nd. This means I'm down 29.5 pounds since the surgery...that comes out to almost 3 pounds a week since my surgery. Not what I had hoped, but they seem to be ok with it at the office, so I guess I can't complain.
I really expected the weight to melt off...somewhere between 5-10 pounds a week or something. That isn't happening. Honestly, it's hard work. I have to make sure I'm eating enough protein, watch my portion sizes, make sure I'm exercising...
I just try to do my best.

I tried protein supplements again. I wanted to see if I could hack them now. The answer to that is NOPE. I had a shooter at 6:00 in the morning last Thursday and my stomach was tossing and turning ALL DAY LONG! My allergist said I probably have an intolerance to whey. So my aunt is sending some rice protein for me to try...I didn't even know rice HAD protein! I'm also interested in trying soy protein, but I'm not ready to go throwing money at another experiment just yet.

That's about all there is at the moment. Things are going fairly well - the worst of it seems to be over. I did discover that I have to be careful about eating dry food - like over cooked meat. If my food is too dry it gets stuck and comes right back up! YIKES!

Ok, my friends. Time to go on the job hunt for a few. I hope all is well, and I'll try to be a bit more regular now that I'm back online.

Eating on the run...

Well, good morning folks. I'm typing this at the ripe hour of 6:37am (Been up since 4). Today I start my "full time" work...I'm not really working full time, but it will seem like it because of the crazy hours I'll be keeping. I have two classes, and then I have my support group. I'll be leaving home about 7:30 and won't be returning until around 8:00 tonight.

So, the million dollar question is...(drum roll please)...How do I keep such long hours and still eat? And eat healthy? No longer can I sidle into a Wendy's or BK and order myself something fast and easy. Instead, I have to think about every morsel that passes these lips! Since I still don't feel hunger, I could just as easily NOT eat but that would be very unhealthy.

What I plan is this...eggbeaters for breakfast (I'm munching them right now), yogurt shake for lunch, and left overs from the weekend for dinner. However...Wednesdays and Thursdays I'll be getting home even later...9 or 9:30...will I really want to eat so late? Perhaps an early dinner will have to do?

Or maybe I just need to pray for another job with better hours...good luck with that in THIS economy!

Don't know what you've got till it's gone...

Well, I know my posts have become less frequent. I guess that's because there's less to complain about. I seem to be doing fairly well. I do still have nausea from time to time, and I do still reject come foods now and then, but overall, I seem to be doing well.

I'm back at the gym - doing 2 miles per day. It's the first thing I do everyday, so I make sure it happens. If I wait, chances are, I won't walk.

The only food I really miss right now is pizza. I mean I MISS it. I dream about it. I salivate over the thought of it. Just one slice of really good pizza would make me SOOOO happy. But I'm not supposed to be eating that kind of food right now. Plus, if I eat a meal low in protein then that means I have to take some kind of protein supplement, and I DON'T want to do that because, right now, my body still thinks they're all gross.

Surprisingly, I'm finding, I don't miss food really at all - except the afore mentioned pizza. Other than that, I can do without. I don't know if it's because I don't have an appetite or because I know that I can't eat most foods or what, but I just don't really miss food. The other day I was in a REALLY bad mood. I popped into a gas station for gas. When I went inside to pay, I looked around and realize nothing was calling me! Normally, when I feel that bad, I would buy a couple candy bars and a thing of pringles or combos. This time, I wanted nothing! It was an amazing realization!

What I do miss is the feeling of stuffing myself silly. I don't miss food, but when I think about food - any kind of food - I think about stuffing myself to the point of nearly exploding. It's THAT feeling that I mess - being able to just eat whatever I want, whenever I want, until I am stuffed.
So now I wonder...was it ever really the food at all? Or was it the stuffing? Would I have been just as happy stuffing myself with well salted cardboard? And if that's the case, if it's the STUFFING I was really after and not the food, then why? What don't I have enough of that I'm trying to fill myself with something else?

I guess it's a good thing I have a good therapist. Hopefully she'll be able to help me unpack that one!

Please, sir, can I have some more?

Food is gooooood!
Ok, so, here's where we're at these days: I can have 2 real meals per day and one protein supplement. However, I just don't like the supplements! So, my dietitian relented and is letting me use yogurt smoothies as protein supplements - the catch is that whatever I flavor them with has to be no/low calorie...that means NO FRUIT! I can have up to 6 ounces of food at a time. However, that hurts my tummy, so I'm sticking with only 3-4 oz. The first 3 are my protein. If there's room left, I have a bite or two of e veggie.

I'm feeling pretty good. Although the dietitian said only 1 supplement, I've been doing 2. I think I need more protein than 75 grams. We'll find out tomorrow when I weigh myself. If I haven't lost, I'll drop down to 1 and see if I loose then. If I do, then I'll know I was eating too much.

I've gotten back into walking (once life started getting complicated last week I sorta stopped doing things to take care of myself). I'm doing 2 miles on the treadmill. My goal is to get up to 3 miles and then start working on an incline. I know it takes time, but I believe I'll get there.

No more pain in the tummy, unless I eat too much. No more nausea and very little gagging anymore. I pretty much know what to stay away from at this point, which is good. I'm making sure walking is the first thing I do each day, so I'm sure to get it in. Drinking the yogurt (I add a little water to make it a smoothie) actually helps with this crazy life I'm leading because a lot of time I'm not around long enough to eat a solid meal. How often do you have half an hour a day to sit and eat?

That's about all the news that's fit to print at the moment.