Okay now on to Step two:

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

Work book page 11 # 1

1. As I look with the complete honesty at my life, how have I acted in an extremely irrational and self-destructive manner where eating is concerned?

Well, up until the point I began OA, I was convinced I was going to eat myself to death. There were even times I would sit with a big greasy burger covered with mayonnaise and french fries ALSO covered with mayo and though to myself, "I'm going to die. One of these days, I'm going to just have a heart attack and die.

Yet, I continued, to munching right away on the food that was going to kill me.

I also would get angry at people for taking my food - a fry off my plate, for example. I mean ANGRY! Don't EVER get between my food and me, not if you want to keep your fingers. I still get angry. I try not to, but now I get angry for a different reason. I have to weigh and measure everything. If someone takes a morsel from me, it messes with my count. Then what? Do I add more? Life without it? What if that one bite leaves me hungry at the end of the meal?

I have emotional reactions to food...crying or anger when I can't have what I want. Actual heartfelt love when I get something I really enjoy! I HATE this! It's just food! Why the hell do I have FEELINGS for it?