Not much new to report. Still munching on pre-chewed chicken. We did go out to dinner last night and I had half of a shrimp and a little piece of fish. Yummy! :)
The emotional roller coaster is fully operational today. Loads of fun. Have I ever mentioned that I don't like roller coaster? Well, now you know, I don't.
Mostly this coaster today is about food. The craving monster is on full blast in my brain. It really sucks. I know it's going to take a lot of work to get him out of my head...but he just squirms through my brain like a nasty tapeworm! If you're out there and reading this and someone who's thinking of surgery...or just someone who struggles with food...know that there is no easy out. The voices in your head will be there for a very long time and you can either chose to meet them head on or drown in them. For the last 30+ years I've chosen to drown. I won't lie, it was a hell of a lot easier and a lot less painful to just give in than to fight. Right now part of me wants to just give up and say F$%^ it! But I can't. I won't be on this earth very many more years if I spend the rest of my life sitting in a Burger King or a Wendy's or bellying up to the ice cream bar.
My therapist said I need a list...things to do when the worm starts squirming its way around my brain...dial a friend (hey, now I'm on Millionair!), cross stitch, read a book, homework. Once I can be more active I'd like those options to be go belly dance, practice some Tae Kwon Do, kick a soccer ball...I'm not up for those things yet.
Right now, I'm feeling some cross stitch coming on. Hmm...if I x-stitch evertime I start feeling cravings, I could open my own home-crafts business! Maybe I can make money off this worm!
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