You are what you sip

So...I'm supposed to be drinking protein. YAY!!! Or so I thought...I haven't been this sick in YEARS!! So, this morning, it's just straight chicken broth. My stomach doesn't like tea. It doesn't like water. It doesn't like anything except chicken broth. If I sprout feathers and fly away well...I've always wondered what it'd be like to fly.

I'm trying to keep a positive attitude, but honestly, right now, I'm wondering what the hell did I do to myself? Don't get me wrong, I'm not wishing I hadn't done this, I'm just wondering what I was thinking. My stomach was sensitive to begin with and now I seem to have made it more so. I want to just get better and MOVE ON! I know, I know...it takes time. Patience may be a virtue, but it is NOT one that I have learned.

The good news is that I've lost 9 pounds since surgery last Wednesday. Of course, when all your drinking is no and low cal beverages, that's not so hard to to. However, it was still nice to see.

More good news - I'm almost pain free. Inside and out, I feel pretty good (not counting the nausea). However, I have one stubborn inscision that refuses to stop hurting. I guess it's normal. Of course, it doesn't help that I keep sneezing and every time I sneeze it feels like someone is ripping my side open with their bare hands!

So...if anyone's out there reading this you're probably wondering why the heck I did this, right? (hello? anyone one there? is this thing on?) Well, I can tell you this much...I was desperate. I saw no light at the end of the tunnel. I was (am) a food junky! I couldn't get enough (hello...I gained 80 pounds in 4 months, does that tell you anything???)! No matter how bad I wanted to stop, I couldn't. So, as tough as the healing process of this journey is, I know - at least I believe - it will bring me to a better place than I was before the journey began. I've been off food for over a month. In that time I've had a chance to look at myself, look at my relationship with food, and gain better insight into the kinds of food I'm addicted to. I can see more clearly which foods make me loose control. They tell me that, eventually, I'll be able to eat everything again. I'm not so sure that is true. I am beginning to believe that, for me, there will be certain kinds of food that I'll never be able to eat again if I want to remain sane. Besides, if I follow doctor's orders and focus on my protein, I won't really have room in my stomach for the bad stuff anyway.

Alright, I'm out. I'm going to finish my broth and attempt my first, real, post-surgery walk. The weather's good and hope is in the air. Besides, if my stomach finally decides to let loose, better in the parking lot than on my laptop, right?
(P.S. I'm just trying to keep real and tell it like it is. I'm not trying to be graphic or gross, but I don't really want to sugar coat either.)