I'm finally starting to feel hunger again. I have to say, I didn't miss that feeling AT ALL! It was so nice to just not have to worry, not think about food or be distracted by it or, worst of all, worry about feeling the need to eat. Lack of hunger created such a freedom from food that I have never had before. Having that feeling back is almost depressing...
And when I feel hungry, it comes on like a raging furnace! There's not "oh, I'm feeling a bit peckish." Instead it's "I'm hungry, bitch, feed me NOW!" When this feeling comes on, it's very difficult to eat slowly or looking at my measly little plate of food and believe that it is going to be enough to tame the lion that is my hunger.
The one thing I have learned, though, is that it's all about timing. I can comfortably go 3 hours without food. Often, I can stretch that to 4 hours. However, my best bet, to keep from feeling hunger, is to eat every 3 to 3.5 hours. So, I try to plan my meals for that, although it doesn't always work. Life, of course, continues to happen regardless of my needs.
This morning, for example, I completely forgot to drink breakfast. I didn't even think about food all morning until, at 10:30, the lion woke up and started roaring for food. FORTUNATELY, that was the same time my class ended, so I was able to consider eating. Unfortunately, I still had to do my 30 minute waiting period after drinking. I guess this is why it will always be important to keep some kind of protein supplementations on hand - both liquid and solid.
I have to say, though. I am still glad I had this surgery. Yeah, it means all kinds of life changes, but this is on of the reasons why I am NOT afraid to tell people. I need to eat when I need to eat. I need to eat WHAT I need to eat. I need to take my vitamins when I need to take my vitamins. Therefore, if someone has a problem with my habits, I tell them outright: I had surgery. I can't just do whatever I want whenever I want with food, so let me do my thing! Most people are very cool about it once I explain myself. Many are accomodating. Many are curious. It often creates interesting conversation. I don't think I've meet a negative reation yet.
I take that back...I did have a vist with a physicians assistant who told me she didn't agree with the surgery. Personally, I felt her attitude was unprofessional...especially since she expressed it to me the first time I was in her office, and I was less than a month post-op and still a little fragile!
Ok, I gotsa work! More late.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Donate to the I need protein fund...
Well, I had my 3 month post-op visit on Friday. All is looking good. I've been getting a lot of compliments on how great I look and how healthy I look. It feels good.
I am officially lighter than I've been since high school! I've lost 68 pounds thus far. It's kinda hard to swallow, because a lot of people lose faster than I've been losing, but I'm trying to be ok with it. I'm just glad it's a steady loss instead of a yo-yo. Every Friday I weight myself and I'm averaging about 3 pounds a week. If I keep things up at this rate, I'll been down 100 before the end of December. WooHoo! I'll take that.
Now, as to my title...protein is EXPENSIVE...so, if anyone wants to help the cause, just let me know. ;)
I also need clothing, but I really don't want to buy right now. I want to buy clothes when I'm GOOD and skinny...like 200. However, I can't keep going around looking like a ragamuffin either. I guess I'll have to find some good thrift shops.
I did buy underwear this weekend. I needed it...my old stuff I'd had for almost 10 years! and you could practially see right through it.
I finally broke down and bought underwire. I HATE underwire because it's SO uncomfortable. But, when you put those girls in their place, I look like I've lost another 20 pounds! So...vanity won out over comfort. Afterall, I'm starting to feel good, so I gotta look the part. Right?
I am officially lighter than I've been since high school! I've lost 68 pounds thus far. It's kinda hard to swallow, because a lot of people lose faster than I've been losing, but I'm trying to be ok with it. I'm just glad it's a steady loss instead of a yo-yo. Every Friday I weight myself and I'm averaging about 3 pounds a week. If I keep things up at this rate, I'll been down 100 before the end of December. WooHoo! I'll take that.
Now, as to my title...protein is EXPENSIVE...so, if anyone wants to help the cause, just let me know. ;)
I also need clothing, but I really don't want to buy right now. I want to buy clothes when I'm GOOD and skinny...like 200. However, I can't keep going around looking like a ragamuffin either. I guess I'll have to find some good thrift shops.
I did buy underwear this weekend. I needed it...my old stuff I'd had for almost 10 years! and you could practially see right through it.
I finally broke down and bought underwire. I HATE underwire because it's SO uncomfortable. But, when you put those girls in their place, I look like I've lost another 20 pounds! So...vanity won out over comfort. Afterall, I'm starting to feel good, so I gotta look the part. Right?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Let them eat cake
Good morning, faithful readers.
Last night I tried the most DIVINE calcium supplement. It's from Bariatric Eating. It's called lemon poundcake. The morsel is a tad spungy, but it really tastes lemony and sweet and cakey! Not like a vitamin at all. The best part, it has 500mg of calcium instead of 250 like the one I've BEEN taking, so I only have to take it twice a day instead of 3 times...of course, I have to finish all the boring calcium I have now because the stuff is just too expensive to waste. However, I have something yummy to look forward to the next time I order vitamins.
People keep asking me now I'm doing...I'm great! Food poses no problem for me...as long as it's not too dry. So far, I have not met a meat or a vegetable I cannot eat...I just don't always have room for the vegetables. Can you imagine your doctor telling you, "Don't eat your veggies?" That's the joy of bariatric surgery. Sometimes, you just don't have room for veggies. Sometimes, you do.
I actually learned last night at our meeting, that just about EVERYTHING affects how much your able to eat - hormones, weather, exercise...One day, 9 ounces may be just enough. The next, you're struggling to get in 3. Yesterday, for example, I was hurting after eating my 4 ounces of protein (I should have stopped at 3, but I'm a nazi about getting my protein in. I need to stop that) at lunch. Then, at dinner, I was afraid I had eaten too much because I went out with a friend, but I wasn't hurting at all...
So, one just never knows.
What I do know, is that I almost never eat breakfast in the morning, and I'm good with that. I have decided that I really don't care for early day solids at this stage in the game. I just drink my protein coffee and call it a morning. What stinks is that this coffee is so darn expensive! Anyone want to donate to the "I need protein" fund?
Well, I need to get moving along. Gotta head to work. I'll report back in another day or two.
Tchau
Last night I tried the most DIVINE calcium supplement. It's from Bariatric Eating. It's called lemon poundcake. The morsel is a tad spungy, but it really tastes lemony and sweet and cakey! Not like a vitamin at all. The best part, it has 500mg of calcium instead of 250 like the one I've BEEN taking, so I only have to take it twice a day instead of 3 times...of course, I have to finish all the boring calcium I have now because the stuff is just too expensive to waste. However, I have something yummy to look forward to the next time I order vitamins.
People keep asking me now I'm doing...I'm great! Food poses no problem for me...as long as it's not too dry. So far, I have not met a meat or a vegetable I cannot eat...I just don't always have room for the vegetables. Can you imagine your doctor telling you, "Don't eat your veggies?" That's the joy of bariatric surgery. Sometimes, you just don't have room for veggies. Sometimes, you do.
I actually learned last night at our meeting, that just about EVERYTHING affects how much your able to eat - hormones, weather, exercise...One day, 9 ounces may be just enough. The next, you're struggling to get in 3. Yesterday, for example, I was hurting after eating my 4 ounces of protein (I should have stopped at 3, but I'm a nazi about getting my protein in. I need to stop that) at lunch. Then, at dinner, I was afraid I had eaten too much because I went out with a friend, but I wasn't hurting at all...
So, one just never knows.
What I do know, is that I almost never eat breakfast in the morning, and I'm good with that. I have decided that I really don't care for early day solids at this stage in the game. I just drink my protein coffee and call it a morning. What stinks is that this coffee is so darn expensive! Anyone want to donate to the "I need protein" fund?
Well, I need to get moving along. Gotta head to work. I'll report back in another day or two.
Tchau
Friday, October 16, 2009
Beware: food additcts in the kitchen
Good evening all. I waiting for a friend to call back, so I figured I'd bug you.
Well, I'm starting a Pampered Chef business. WHAT? YOU CAN'T EAT? WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH AN INSANE THING??? Because...even bariatric patients need to eat! Besides, my husband still likes to eat. And, on top of that, I just love to cook and want to share my passion with others. So...if you need a frying pan or paring knife, let me know.
Food's going well. I just ordered some new vitamins (yay) and with them I ordered a few bariatric friendly snacks. I'm getting tired of eating the same things all the time. I'm ready for some change! We'll see if the CHANGE agrees with my stomach! In the meantime...I still need to figure out what's on the menu for next week. If I was brave, I'd try some fish...but I'm afraid I won't like the fish...
I know...I'm a wimp. What can I say?
Well, I'm starting a Pampered Chef business. WHAT? YOU CAN'T EAT? WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH AN INSANE THING??? Because...even bariatric patients need to eat! Besides, my husband still likes to eat. And, on top of that, I just love to cook and want to share my passion with others. So...if you need a frying pan or paring knife, let me know.
Food's going well. I just ordered some new vitamins (yay) and with them I ordered a few bariatric friendly snacks. I'm getting tired of eating the same things all the time. I'm ready for some change! We'll see if the CHANGE agrees with my stomach! In the meantime...I still need to figure out what's on the menu for next week. If I was brave, I'd try some fish...but I'm afraid I won't like the fish...
I know...I'm a wimp. What can I say?
Monday, October 12, 2009
If you could only see me now!
Hello, faithful readers!
I chose that title because I really do want to show pictures of my progress. How and ever (as a friend would say), I can't figure out how to make them small enough to fit. My little photo editor program won't work with me. Artists!
In any case, I'll let you know that things are going exceedingly well! This week makes 3 months since surgery. I am doing much better than I ever thought I would. That first month or two were hard, but in reality, the only problem was whey. Currently, have difficulty with very little - as long as I steer clear of whey or anything with a high fat content (I learned that the hard way. Turns out, dumping syndrome isn't always immediate. I at some nuts in the afternoon and had a very bad evening...).
I've been doing a lot of cooking for myself - usually at least one type of soup and then 2 other things. These last me through the week. Sometimes I'll add a veggie, sometimes not. I love soup, probably because it goes down so easily. The dietitian, though, said to drink the broth first THEN chew the chunks. Otherwise, the broth will just wash the food through, and I'll be hungry sooner. Right now this isn't a problem as I don't feel hunger still but down the road, it will be.
I have learned something new this weekend. I need to keep myself busy. As long as I'm busy, I'm fine. However, as soon as I have nothing to do, my thoughts turn to food. It's amazing how quickly it happens! However, now I know, and knowing (as GI Joe used to say) is half the battle. The other half (although he never told us this) is doing something with that knowledge. One thing I've chosen to do is drink. When head hunger kicks in, I'll make some tea or crystal light. This way, I'm still getting my liquids, my mouth feels like something's going on, but I'm not adding excess calories to my life. The next thing I need to do is find something to occupy me. I've gotten back into my cross stitch, work on the computer, write lesson plans, look for a job or go for a walk.
Oops! I gotta run. The oven's beeping at me!
I chose that title because I really do want to show pictures of my progress. How and ever (as a friend would say), I can't figure out how to make them small enough to fit. My little photo editor program won't work with me. Artists!
In any case, I'll let you know that things are going exceedingly well! This week makes 3 months since surgery. I am doing much better than I ever thought I would. That first month or two were hard, but in reality, the only problem was whey. Currently, have difficulty with very little - as long as I steer clear of whey or anything with a high fat content (I learned that the hard way. Turns out, dumping syndrome isn't always immediate. I at some nuts in the afternoon and had a very bad evening...).
I've been doing a lot of cooking for myself - usually at least one type of soup and then 2 other things. These last me through the week. Sometimes I'll add a veggie, sometimes not. I love soup, probably because it goes down so easily. The dietitian, though, said to drink the broth first THEN chew the chunks. Otherwise, the broth will just wash the food through, and I'll be hungry sooner. Right now this isn't a problem as I don't feel hunger still but down the road, it will be.
I have learned something new this weekend. I need to keep myself busy. As long as I'm busy, I'm fine. However, as soon as I have nothing to do, my thoughts turn to food. It's amazing how quickly it happens! However, now I know, and knowing (as GI Joe used to say) is half the battle. The other half (although he never told us this) is doing something with that knowledge. One thing I've chosen to do is drink. When head hunger kicks in, I'll make some tea or crystal light. This way, I'm still getting my liquids, my mouth feels like something's going on, but I'm not adding excess calories to my life. The next thing I need to do is find something to occupy me. I've gotten back into my cross stitch, work on the computer, write lesson plans, look for a job or go for a walk.
Oops! I gotta run. The oven's beeping at me!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Death by mastication
It seems that I chew too much.
When I was at my support group meeting on Tuesday, I explained that I was worried I was stretching out my pouch because I never feel anything. I don't feel stretching or pressure or anything when I eat. The dietitian asked me what consistency my food is when I eat it. I told her it's solid, medium sized bites, but I chew it to death, and then chew it some more because I don't want to get stuck. She told me I'm chewing too much, thus by the time I swallow, my food is closer to a liquid than a solid so it just glides right on past my stomach and into my intestine.
So...I have to chew less. I also need to eat a little faster. Instead of taking 30 minutes to eat, I need to take 20. Take small bites, eating semi-constantly as opposed to taking long pauses between bites to stretch the meal out.
Life gets more and more interesting each passing week. :)
Did I tell you I'm down to a size 22? The biggest I've ever been is a 32. At the time of my surgery, I was waffling between 26 and 28. Now I'm down to a 22. WooHoo! I can't wait to get down into the teens. I haven't been smaller than a 22 since I was about 16 years old. One of these days I hope to get pictures posted, but I don't know how to change the picture sizes on my computer! They're all too big. :(
When I was at my support group meeting on Tuesday, I explained that I was worried I was stretching out my pouch because I never feel anything. I don't feel stretching or pressure or anything when I eat. The dietitian asked me what consistency my food is when I eat it. I told her it's solid, medium sized bites, but I chew it to death, and then chew it some more because I don't want to get stuck. She told me I'm chewing too much, thus by the time I swallow, my food is closer to a liquid than a solid so it just glides right on past my stomach and into my intestine.
So...I have to chew less. I also need to eat a little faster. Instead of taking 30 minutes to eat, I need to take 20. Take small bites, eating semi-constantly as opposed to taking long pauses between bites to stretch the meal out.
Life gets more and more interesting each passing week. :)
Did I tell you I'm down to a size 22? The biggest I've ever been is a 32. At the time of my surgery, I was waffling between 26 and 28. Now I'm down to a 22. WooHoo! I can't wait to get down into the teens. I haven't been smaller than a 22 since I was about 16 years old. One of these days I hope to get pictures posted, but I don't know how to change the picture sizes on my computer! They're all too big. :(
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
It's good to read
I just found a great new magazine! When I ordered my coffee from BariatricEating.com, I also ordered a magazine called WLS Lifestyle. I'm only on the second article, but I'm really appreciating my purchase! I'll have to save up for the subscription.
I just finished an article about the 4 ingredients for success: Structure, Motivation, Accountability, and Support. Structure is a HUGH problem for me. I not good at that at all, and my current life doesn't make structure all that easy. However, I'm going to try to plan out each day in advance in terms of my food and exercise and see how that works. The author mentioned a woman who does her planning on Sunday, but I don't know if that would work for me...at least not to start.
In terms of motivation, I thought I was motivated, but she suggests building in rewards for successes. I haven't done that at all. I'm just trying to run the marathon. I'll have to take another look at that. The last paragraph of that section is GREAT, and I'm going to quote it here. "If you want to stop using food to meet your emotional needs, or as a way to respond to stress, or as a reward or celebration, you won't stay motivated to do so unless you decide what you are going to do instead to address those needs. It's a simple fact. No one stays motivated if they aren't getting what they need" (McCreery, Summer 2009, p. 13).
This REALLY spoke to me...what am I doing to do to make sure my needs are met? This is a question my therapist keeps asking me as well and, so far, I haven't come up with a good answer. I'd love to say I'm going to join a belly dancing class and return to Tae Kwon Do, but I don't have the money for either of those.
Another questions McCeery (2009) asks is "how they are getting in their own way" (p.13)? How am I getting in my own way? Well, my biggest internal pain and anguish is in relation to my family and my childhood. Is it possible, then, that I can't give up food, because I haven't given up that pain? Are they that linked to each other? I think they might be. No matter what causes me pain in the present, I always seem to related it somehow to my pain of the past.
Finally, McCeery has a website called www.TooMuchOnHerPlate.com. I'm going to check it out when I'm done here. When I read that I realized, that my not just be figurative. I often have too much on my food plate when I have too much on my life plate. I also have nightmares about eating too much (like last night) when I'm stressed or scared. Perhaps, in order to ensure my food stays at the level it should be at, I need to ensure that my life plate doesn't get too full.
Well, those are my thoughts for this morning. I'm going to check out www.TooMuchOnHerPlate.com and then head off to work. I hope you all have a blessed day!
I just finished an article about the 4 ingredients for success: Structure, Motivation, Accountability, and Support. Structure is a HUGH problem for me. I not good at that at all, and my current life doesn't make structure all that easy. However, I'm going to try to plan out each day in advance in terms of my food and exercise and see how that works. The author mentioned a woman who does her planning on Sunday, but I don't know if that would work for me...at least not to start.
In terms of motivation, I thought I was motivated, but she suggests building in rewards for successes. I haven't done that at all. I'm just trying to run the marathon. I'll have to take another look at that. The last paragraph of that section is GREAT, and I'm going to quote it here. "If you want to stop using food to meet your emotional needs, or as a way to respond to stress, or as a reward or celebration, you won't stay motivated to do so unless you decide what you are going to do instead to address those needs. It's a simple fact. No one stays motivated if they aren't getting what they need" (McCreery, Summer 2009, p. 13).
This REALLY spoke to me...what am I doing to do to make sure my needs are met? This is a question my therapist keeps asking me as well and, so far, I haven't come up with a good answer. I'd love to say I'm going to join a belly dancing class and return to Tae Kwon Do, but I don't have the money for either of those.
Another questions McCeery (2009) asks is "how they are getting in their own way" (p.13)? How am I getting in my own way? Well, my biggest internal pain and anguish is in relation to my family and my childhood. Is it possible, then, that I can't give up food, because I haven't given up that pain? Are they that linked to each other? I think they might be. No matter what causes me pain in the present, I always seem to related it somehow to my pain of the past.
Finally, McCeery has a website called www.TooMuchOnHerPlate.com. I'm going to check it out when I'm done here. When I read that I realized, that my not just be figurative. I often have too much on my food plate when I have too much on my life plate. I also have nightmares about eating too much (like last night) when I'm stressed or scared. Perhaps, in order to ensure my food stays at the level it should be at, I need to ensure that my life plate doesn't get too full.
Well, those are my thoughts for this morning. I'm going to check out www.TooMuchOnHerPlate.com and then head off to work. I hope you all have a blessed day!
Monday, October 5, 2009
I am NOT what I eat..(damn! I laid an egg!)
Well, up until now my diet has consisted of chicken, chicken, and, yes, more chicken. Why, you might ask? Because 1. it's what I craved for quite a while. 2. it went down easy and 3. it was just easy to make.
How and ever...I got REALLY sick of chicken and needed a break. So...this week...I made a nice pork tenderloin (I say nice because I actually cooked it right and it came out nice and tender), a turkey taco soup that's quite yummy, and turkey meatballs with stroganoff sauce. Yummy! I actually just finished a bowl of the soup, and it really it the spot.
Lately, I've been feeling pretty good. It kind of amazes me that, less than two months ago, I was feeling pretty awful. Now, it's almost as though nothing happened...except that I eat differently, chew differently, eat less, and don't drink with food. Oh, and eat with baby silverware.
Other than that...nothing's really changed. :)
Exercise is posing a problem these days. It's been 2 weeks since we've moved, and I just can't get my butt outta bed in the morning. So, today, I walked when I got home from work. I only made it half an hour, but it was a good work out. The road we live on is all hills (the first one is a REAL killer), so I just went up and down, up and down for the whole half hour. Better than the treadmill.
Guess what? If you need kitchen supplies LET ME KNOW! I've decided to start my own Pampered Chef business. I'm SO excited. It's something I've wanted to do for YEARS and never done. I know, you're probably thinking, "what is the bariatric patient doing giving cooking shows?" Hey just because I can't EAT everything doesn't mean I can't have fun cooking. Besides, I absolutely LOVE Pampered Chef products and am totally stoked about moving them. So, line right up and place your orders!
My order from BariatricEating.com came in today. I'm looking forward to trying the coffee tomorrow (I have to wait until tomorrow because there's caffeine in it). Hopefully it'll be as good as everyone says it is, and I'll have FINALLY found a protein drink I can tolerate.
Well, folks, it's time for me to start getting ready for tomorrow. Hope all is well. I'll report in again soon.
Tchau!
How and ever...I got REALLY sick of chicken and needed a break. So...this week...I made a nice pork tenderloin (I say nice because I actually cooked it right and it came out nice and tender), a turkey taco soup that's quite yummy, and turkey meatballs with stroganoff sauce. Yummy! I actually just finished a bowl of the soup, and it really it the spot.
Lately, I've been feeling pretty good. It kind of amazes me that, less than two months ago, I was feeling pretty awful. Now, it's almost as though nothing happened...except that I eat differently, chew differently, eat less, and don't drink with food. Oh, and eat with baby silverware.
Other than that...nothing's really changed. :)
Exercise is posing a problem these days. It's been 2 weeks since we've moved, and I just can't get my butt outta bed in the morning. So, today, I walked when I got home from work. I only made it half an hour, but it was a good work out. The road we live on is all hills (the first one is a REAL killer), so I just went up and down, up and down for the whole half hour. Better than the treadmill.
Guess what? If you need kitchen supplies LET ME KNOW! I've decided to start my own Pampered Chef business. I'm SO excited. It's something I've wanted to do for YEARS and never done. I know, you're probably thinking, "what is the bariatric patient doing giving cooking shows?" Hey just because I can't EAT everything doesn't mean I can't have fun cooking. Besides, I absolutely LOVE Pampered Chef products and am totally stoked about moving them. So, line right up and place your orders!
My order from BariatricEating.com came in today. I'm looking forward to trying the coffee tomorrow (I have to wait until tomorrow because there's caffeine in it). Hopefully it'll be as good as everyone says it is, and I'll have FINALLY found a protein drink I can tolerate.
Well, folks, it's time for me to start getting ready for tomorrow. Hope all is well. I'll report in again soon.
Tchau!
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