Recovery

Well, I've decided to get back into recovery...meaning that I've returner to Overeater's Anonymous. I had gone for a little while last year - before my surgery, but stopped going when I decided to have surgery because I didn't think they'd be very accepting of my decision. During a Christmas party, however, I found myself wishing I had a sponsor! I was really struggling with not being able to eat certain foods, and it really would have helped to talk to someone with the same issues. After some encouragement from an old OA friend, I finally went to a meeting this past Saturday...

It was like coming home! Those who knew me from before, were very glad to see me. No one judged me for my decision and many were encouraging that I made the right decision for myself. By Sunday, I had a sponsor.

I feel good. My therapist wonders if I'm really "addicted" to food (meaning pure physical need/response to certain types of food). She thinks my problem is more emotional and that, someday, I should be able to enjoy every food out there. I don't know. What I do know is that foods made with wheat, high in sugar, starches, or fried are foods that I really struggle with and crave. I can't have just one or a little bit or a healthy slice. I need to have it ALL. Yes, folks, I can sit down and eat an ENTIRE package of oreos. I can eat an entire pizza on my own. Fast food? FORGETABOUTIT! I would go to McDonald's AND Burger King back to back...mostly because I couldn't decide, burger or nuggets? So I'd get both. Well, all this pre-surgery. There isn't enough room for it now, but I bet I could eat it at least until I threw up and felt VERY uncomfortable.

Whatever my problem with food...whether it be emotional, or physical addiction, I don't want to ruin this surgery. I often fear that I'm eating too much and stretching my pouch - especially when I'm out to eat and can't measure my food. I've decided that, for now, when I go out to eat, maybe I should just have soup. Then, when I get home, I can have a protein shake.

I wish I was more regular with my blogging...maybe I'll start putting my OA homework on here. That's a daily thing...If I was more regular, maybe more people would read this...people like me who just need encouragement. It's not easy having issues with food, because we have to eat every day. And most people don't understand where we're coming from. "One piece won't hurt you...I won't tell anyone...It's the holidays..." The problem is, it's one piece everyday...no one is going to tell anyone...and the holidays run all year 'round...

No one encourages an alcoholic to just take one drink...