The road less traveled

wb page 25 #10

Why do I need to follow this new path?

Because if I don't, I'll die.  It's that simple.  I can remember - about 4 years ago - sitting in my apartment eating dinner.  I had a giant hamburger slathered with cheese, ketchup and mayo.  I also had a STACK of homemade french fries also slathered in ketchup and mayo.  I had a bottle of cream soda to drink.  For dessert, I was going to have a pint of Ben and Jerry's.  As I sat there with my food, I thought to myself, "I'm killing myself.  I don't care.  This food is so damn good, but I know I'm killing myself.  One day, I'll just have a heart attack and die."  I really didn't care.  I wasn't scared.  It was just a fact.  I loved food - was IN LOVE with food and my obsession was going to kill me, but I wasn't about to give it up.  I didn't think I could give it up because it was stronger than me.

Therefore, I know, if I don't stay with this path I'm on now, I will die.  There is heart disease and diabetes in my family.  At the time I went in for my surgery, I was suffering from sleep apnea (which I had surgery for years earlier), high blood pressure, and acid reflux.  It was only a matter of time...

I think, also, if I don't stay on this path, it'll ruin my marriage.  My husband loves me, and I don't think he could have stood by much longer and watched me kill myself.  It was really hurting him to see me get sicker and weaker and less energetic.  We used to fight about food more than anything else!  How is that for strange!?  Most couples fight about money or kids or something of the like.  We fought about food and which new fad diet I was trying and whether or not it would work and why I just needed will-power!

Finally, I need to stay on this path because I have to much to live for, and, perhaps, if I am successful, then my story might help someone else.  And, above all else, making a difference and being there for others is what I'm all about.