No magic pill

Bariatric surgery is no panacea. Intellectually, I've known this since the first time I stepped in the doctor's office. Emotionally, however, I think I'd hoped differently. Yesterday I came to the realization of the long painful haul I have ahead of me, and I was forced to confront the fear that this may not work for me.

One think they tell us over and over again is that it's normal to have no appitite for up to the first 6 months post-surgery. For me, this lasted a week and a half. I crave food...I may not necessaritly FEEL hungery, but I crave food. Yesterday, it was terrible. By the end of the day I was depressed and crying because I couldn't believe my appitite - my temptations - had come back so quickly. I don't know if I have the strength to continue this fight for the rest of my life. If I'm already struggling with my food demons, this means that I run a higher risk of turning the surgery on it's head and failing.

I am so angry! Why can't I just be normal?? And I look at the people in that room who've lost so much weight and wonder...will I be among them, or will I just continue to be a giant failure?